Calculated Risks

I don't easily give up my comfort zone. I like control. I like knowing what's going to happen next. As one personality test put it, I like taking "calculated risks". Flying by myself to a continent that I've never been to and where don't speak the language is beyond the calculated risks that I like to take. Yet somehow, without much effort, two friends convinced me to travel with them this summer. That was before I knew I would by flying alone. When I said yes, I imagined us all getting a ride to the airport, sitting in the same row on the airplane and enduring long lay-overs together.

But here I go, off by myself, praying that both our flights make it to our destination and we actually find each other in the airport. I am embarking on a huge experiment in trust. My usual excitement for trips has been interrupted every now and then by waves of nervousness. The waves subside when I get a text or e-mail from my traveling friends and I remember that this is a big adventure. And to get to the adventure, I have to trust. Trust that I don't need to be in control every step of the way. Trust that I am intelligent enough to handle 10 days in a foreign country. Trust that I will be able to improvise when needed. Trust that this will challenge me and help me grow in ways that could not be done staying where I am.

So I'm taking a risk that's as calculated as I could have made it. And leaving the rest up to trust.