Being known

Once in awhile you find friends, some time passes, and then you know somehow that you're going to be friends for life. In 2008 I met just such a group of friends after making the leap from the burbs to the city. I knew I had stumbled into something unique and beautiful when they invited me to go with them on a fall retreat to the mountains. We spent most of the weekend sharing our stories and then asking questions of each other. I had known most of them for less than a month, and yet they trusted me with their story, and cared enough to ask questions about mine.

After the trip, I wrote in my journal-"I have never felt so much freedom to just be who I am and love God, and be loved just for who I am...no one was trying to over spiritualize any thing. We all shared the broken part of our lives, and there wasn't a big cry-fest in the end, or a big prayer saying everything was going to be ok. But people were asking hard questions of each other to help understand the situation better...God's love was so much more real in those few days than it has ever been. They had no other reason to love me other than that I showed up. I was loved for me, not my resume, not for my past successes, not for my personality, and not even for what I could contribute to this community."

Most of the time I'm pretty guarded, but people in this group were able to break through that. When I was in counseling I realized that I feel loved when people ask me questions, so it's no surprise that I connected with these friends.

It's been 3 1/2 years since that weekend, and some have moved across the country, some have married. A lot of us have changed jobs, moved apartments and faced different hurdles in our professional and personal lives. Some of the friendships have changed in the group, but I still feel a sense of being known when I'm around them, even if they don't know all the latest details of my life.

Each year we have a bit of a reunion during the ski season and this past weekend, nearly all of us made it back to the cabin for another weekend together. A few more people joined us--spouses, siblings, new friends, significant others. The conversations were different, the pace of the day a little slower, the evenings more mellow than in past years. No dance party, no crazy clean-up music.

But for three whole days I got to be around the best question-askers I know. Between car rides and hikes, cooking and cleaning, working on puzzles and playing games, and eating dinner with all 18 of us around a table, I had wonderful conversations. After a semester of little social interaction with friends, it was a beautiful way to reconnect. I will forever be grateful for this group of friends, and this weekend to be together in the mountains where I can feel known.